the kaleidoscope

there are many emotions that masquerade as love. what seemingly is a loving relationship may actually be an unhealthy co-dependency between two emotionally dependent people or among members of a dysfunctional family.

how then do we know if what we feel is pure love or just something that feels like it? take the test below to find out if you’re capable of truly loving or need to unlearn those wrong ways of relating with others:

• i become jealous, possessive and i desire exclusivity with my special friend, viewing other people as a threat to the relationship.
• i want to spend time alone with this special friend and i become frustrated when this doesn’t happen.
• i become irrationally angry or depressed when my special friend withdraws from me.
• i lose interest in my other friendships.
• i experience romantic or sexual feelings leading to fantasy about my special friend.
• i become preoccupied with my special friend’s appearance, personality, problems and interest.
• i am unwilling to make short or long-term plans that do not include my special friend.
• i am unable to see my special friend’s faults realistically.
• i display physical affection beyond that which is appropriate for a friendship.
• i refer frequently to my special friend in conversations; i fell free to "speak" for my special friend.
• i exhibit an intimacy and familiarity with my special friend that causes others to feel uncomfortable or embarassed in their presence.

if you checked any one or more of the above, it’s time to ask yourself: do i really love my special friend or am i trapped in an emotionally dependent relationship? be honest with yourself and your loved one. set each other free and seek to be heated.

running vs. laughing? so what’s the competition about? studies at the University of Maryland’s Center for Cardiology have found that laughter can be as effective as going for a run in terms of maintaining healthy blood vessels.

laughter causes the endothelium - which forms the inner lining of the blood vessels - to dilate, thus increasing the blood flow in the same way as an aerobic exercise.

the study recruited 20 young and healthy volunteers who watched 15 minute clips of distressing scenes from films, as well as clips from comedies. they found that blood flow in the brachial artery in the arm of the volunteers decreased in 14 of the 20 participants, but increased in 19 out of the 20 participants after the funny clips.

(menshealth.co.uk/news)

we often associate Lent with fasting on food. but there are other ways we can deny ourselves. check these out:

• fast from anger and hatred. that probably includes the political kind. pray for them instead.
• fast from judging others. we don’t really know th whole story. why not give the benefit of the doubt instead?
• fast from the discouragement. the plans of the Lord are for a future full of hope (Jeremiah 29:11). let’s hang on to His promises.
• fast from complaining. about 800 million people die each year because they are too poor to survive. we really have no reason to grumble.
• fast from resentment or bitterness. even on the cross, Jesus was an exampl of forgiveness. let’s follow in His steps.
• fast from spending too much. why not reduce your spending this month and use it for more important purposes?

(dpcdsb.org)

"if only i can have 15 minutes - just 15 minutes - all to myself," you’re thinking. now if you don’t think you can afford it, take this test:

True or False:

1. i have more than enough time to do what i want to do.
2. i am on a health regimen that helps me feel energized
3. i look forward to every day.
4. there are no people in my life who drain me.
5. i love my home.
6. i have no clutter in my home and office.
7. i live a life pursuing what i want instead of what i should do.
8. my work is satisfying and rewarding.
9. i take at least two weeklong vacations a year.
10. i do not work on weekends.
11. i get plenty of sleep.
12. i have plenty of quality time with my children and the  people who matter me,
13. i have at least one hobby pastime outside of my work and family activities.
14. i eat foor that make me feel energized instead of sluggish.
15. i have the space to take at least 15 minutes of silence a day.
16. i have friends that are easy to be with and a joy to spend time with.
17. i carry no heavy emotional burdens or addictive behaviors.

give yourself a point for every "true" answer.

9 and above = looks like you’re living a well balanced life.

8 or less = your lifestyle may need some fine tuning.

if you failed the test, "stop. take two days off immediately to regroup and relax," says Laura Berman Fortgang, author of Living Your Best Life and NOW WHAT?90 Days to a New Life Direction, a prominent personal coach. "ask yourself what you are hating, tolerating, or resenting about the current state of you life. make a list and start doing your best to correct things right away," she adds. doing so will not just keep you from exhaustion, depression and anxiety orders in the future. it’ll also spare your family and career as a result. so go ahead and take a 15-minute vacation.